Teej Festival – The Festival of Women, by Women, for Women

“Akh Mere Yaar Di Dukhe,

Lali Merian Akhan De Wich Aiyee”.

Sang my wife and sister-in-law while I sat writing at my table. “What’s wrong with both of you?” I asked. Monica, my wife and Babli my sister in-law giggled and my wife just patted my bald head and said “So many years of togetherness yet he doesn’t know it’s time for Teej.”

“Oh! How could I forget?” I said apologetically. I looked at the calendar and said “Arrey! We have to leave in a week’s time right?”

“Yes, Rossy ji, “chided my wife. Monica and I had met in college and she was quite amused how a Scottish man could speak Punjabi and Hindi so fluently. One thing led to another and soon enough both the college graduates found themselves a footing and today I am what I am today. I finished writing and got ready to pack my bags to go to Ambala in Haryana. Yes, for the yearly Teej Festival I had to go to my wife’s maternal house. With all the festivity and traditional customs that they follow, I had quite got addicted to it.

Ambala was just a three hour drive from where I live and took out my SUV vehicle and we were all a happy family which left for the celebrations. Monica, Babli, Babli’s daughter and my son Sarvam. I remembered how we had fought over what to name my son. Monica said Sarvesh and I insisted on Graham. Finally we hit upon a mix of both – Sarvam.

As we drove in the rain, the slight drizzle made the excitement palpable. The wetness in the atmosphere, the joy of going back home and the sheer ambience while we drove down, made Monica sing into another song:

“Teri Do Takyan Di Nokri, mera lakhan da sawan jaye, Chhuti Lai ke Aja Chann Ve” – All famous Punjabi songs and I still haven’t learnt to sing them.

“Kab seekhega tu, Rossy ji?” teased Babli meaning in Hindi, “When are you going to learn Rossy ji?”We reached Monica’s house – a nice little bungalow set amidst picturesque background. We were received by her family which reminded me of the typical Indian movies kind of family. All hulla bulloo and lot of noise, drama, emotion and happiness flowing out. It is like living a fairy tale when we are in Monica’s house.

“So Rossy puttar, nice to have you back.” Said Kanwaljeet Singh, Monica’s father. He introduced me to his friend Captain Sharma and over tea, he explained to me the significance of Teej. I go through this every year. Since I am Scottish, Singh Papa as I call him, feels I don’t know why Teej is celebrated. So he explains to me and I let him. He rambled “ Teej defines the happiness of a married couple. In earlier times, it was the means for the womenfolk to interact and have a social life. It denotes the devotion that Goddess Parvati had for her husband Lord Shiva.”

“Oh! I am so famished.!” Exclaimed Monica. She was tired and she was so upset that she had to keep the “Nirjara Vrat” or the fast without water for me the next day. I had told her umpteen times not to do it, but complain she would, yet she was happier keeping the fast for me.

The ambience coincided with the climate for Teej which also signifies the oncoming monsoon season. Yes, I wish it rained the next day so that we could all sing and dance in the rain. Oh how I love to see that spectacle.

The henna woman had come down and when I went into the house after the chat with my father in law, I saw that at least 20 women were busy inside, some applying mehendi on their hands, some preparing laddoos, and some making muthiyas. The atmosphere was charged with laughter, fun and gaiety. I love it.

I opened the Shrinjhara. This is the package that my family is supposed to give Monica. Monica was very happy to get it from my sister Anabelle. She makes it a point to send the Shrinjara every year to Monica. It had the traditional sweet Ghewar, the dress – the laheria, henna and the bangles made of lac. Monica gave out a shriek of joy and was happy to see the gift. Besides, Anabelle had sent some more gifts for the other ladies of the house.

I also took out the Baya. This as usual had the dry fruits, a gold bracelet and new clothes. This was Simranjeet , my mother-in-law’s surprise for Monica. For a change, this time she wanted me to give it. Monica was happy beyond bounds and I was amazed at the childlike delight in her eyes. The Baya was placed on a square decorated with flowers and rangoli.

The day dawned, and the morning started with the sparrows twittering in my window. I opened my eyes and saw Monica looking over me. She was looking gorgeous in her pink colored lehenga. It was the one Anabelle had sent for her. The mehendi design in her hands had become black and I smiled and said,” Oh ho! So you have a handsome husband huh?” Monica always said the darker the mehendi, the more handsome is the husband. I searched for my name but she shrugged her palm off and ran away telling me better luck next time. This was a tradition of Teej – of making the husband search his name in the mehandi.

I got refreshed and joined the revelry. Babli was looking like a mannequin in a jewellery shop. She had just loaded herself with a lot of finery. Her daughter looked totally out of place in her jeans and T-shirt. She said she wasn’t interested to do all this. Contradicting rituals, I also keep a fast along with Monica. I believe that if she can do that for me, then I could do this for her. Much against my in laws requests, I eat only with her at night.

“Hey! The procession has started” my son Sarvam shouted. All of us rushed to the outside of the house and went to see the procession of a well decked Goddess Parvati with full finery and jewellery. The idol was taken around from the temple and back. There was a palanquin in which the idol was kept. Dancers, musicians, drummers were bedecked in their finest clothes and there was lot of pomp, lot of glory as they danced their way through on the road. Even I felt like joining in , but was a trifle shy. This was the most important function in Teej .

My father in law’s house had a courtyard behind and he had arranged for a lot of swings for the women to swing on in Teej. This was a major event in this festival and I had the job of pushing the small kids while they were seated on the swings. The women folk were all on a holiday, a cook had been hired and they were all in the courtyard singing, dancing, laughing and were in complete merriment. All the swings looked like they too were a part of the song dance routine. The swings were all decorated with flowers and fritters. The whole area was looking joyous and happy.

“So since Lord Shiva didn’t become her husband even after 107 births, she did a penance” I heard Babli telling the small kids seated around her in a semi circle. “Lord Shiva was pleased with her and became her husband in the 108th birth. So Teej is celebrated.” I shook my head in amazement at the Hindu mythological stories – so many of them and so interesting. “So Goddess Parvati was so happy that she said that whichever woman prays to her on this day, would be blessed with the best husband and would always be happy.” Concluded Babli.

In another corner of the house, I saw some women performing a puja. All of them with their dupattas over their heads and invoking the Supreme Power. They were reading the Teej Katha – the story of Parvati and the relevance of Teej. Everyone assembled in this corner gradually as they realized the Katha was being read. There was silence as it was read and the gaiety and noise subsided with an ambience of respect and reverence.

This got over and then all of us went to the temple nearby. Though the men folk normally are not a part of this function, I was as good as the women’s consort. Everyone wanted me around. So I accompanied them. A lot of flowers were offered first, then some coins. The women sat in a semi circle and the idol of Goddess Parvati was kept in the centre. Here too, the Teej Katha was read out. After this, the fruits and flowers were distributed and everyone prayed to Goddess Parvati.

We all came back home and suddenly the dhol started playing. My father in law had arranged for professional dhol players so that the girls of the family could perform the gidda. The young girls prayed for the best husbands, and the married women prayed for the welfare of their husbands. There were so many songs sung by the women and all of it meant that they were ready to do anything for their spouse, even sacrifice their life for the husband.

Then we went to the local Teej fair. Here there were many stalls which sold items like bangles, juttis, dresses, earrings etc. There were stalls for mehendi and my wife’s cousin had put up one of them and was seen applying mehendi on everyone’s hands at the speed of a jet plane.

The lamp was lit by Monica. Tradition has it that the oil lamp should burn all night. Monica used to always fret about it dying away as that is a bad omen. I always tell her not to get worked up over all this. An Economics graduate, yet she was stuck with such things. The lamp was burning all night without any impediment.

“Mamma, what have you made for dinner?” I asked my mother in law. She said the menu was Gulgale, Karah, pakoras, Kheer puri. My mouth started watering and I wanted to rush back home. Finally night came towards an end and both of us broke the fast after praying to God. We had a sip of water and Monica touched my feet. I never understand this but she insists she would do it. I gave her a gift again and that ended the Teej fervor. Both of us took the blessings of her parents and All of us sang a lot of Punjabi songs and under the moonlit night, in the courtyard we spread out in a circle and had a lovely delicious family dinner.

To the sounds of women singing

“Sawan Da Mahina Din Giddha De Sabhe Sahalyan

Aiyan Nachan Kundan, Jhutan Pingan Piyan Vadiyan…”

And

“Teeyan Teej Diyan Bhadon De Muklkave Teeyan Teej Diyan”

I dozed off to sleep , happy, satisfied and content that yet another year of Teej festival got over and Monica was happier that I could be with her, this year too. Otherwise I used to get caught up with work some years back.

As we set back to Mussoorie again, I made up my mind I have to write a blog on this.

Rossaying : Live life Teejsize!